“Accidents” Build Character
Whether it’s the fear of heights, challenging conversations, setting boundaries, or other daunting dilemmas, avoidance only complicates matters further.
What I wish was simply a fairy tale...More like a Grimm’s Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a young girl found herself paralyzed by the fear of heights, trapped within a tree-house, with no ladder in sight, only a metal fireman’s pole beckoning her descent.
As time passed, an urgent predicament emerged: she desperately needed to relieve herself. But fear held her captive. She waited. And waited, clinging to the hope that a hero would appear or that she might magically transform into a squirrel and scurry down the tree.
Yet, nature remained indifferent to her distress.
In a moment of panic, she took matters into her own hands. Yes, dear reader, she peed out the window.
Right onto her neighbor. A real, human adult.
It wasn’t until shouts erupted that she realized her folly.
There is truth in every joke...
I wish I could say that I learned a profound lesson that day, but I continued (and sometimes still do) to avoid situations that increase my anxiety.
Avoiding your fears doesn’t make them vanish; it just builds pressure. Eventually, they will burst forth—often at the most inopportune times and sometimes onto unsuspecting others.
Jamie VanderLinden
Avoiding feels good for a little while, and then you realize that it’s controlling your life.
“Being around crowds makes me nervous, so I don’t make friends.”
“I get test anxiety, so I never went to college even though I wanted to.”
“I’m scared of heights, so I pee on people.”
Those sorts of things.
Fear is a normal emotion, but if it controls your actions, there may be unintended consequences, and your emotions will come out (one way or another).
So, the next time you find yourself frozen, ponder this:
“Is avoiding ________ worth peeing on my neighbor?”
If the answer is no, then take a step toward your anxiety.