Being a girl is hard. Periods, pay gaps, lack of pockets, and the struggle to find jeans that fit both your waist and your thighs.
Not to mention, having to sit down to pee.
A girl can't get a break!
Trapped in a Treehouse
I’ve always been terrified of heights. I get those intrusive “what if I fall and smash my brain?” thoughts — and listen, I enjoy my brain. I use it daily. Would like to keep it.
I was about eight, living the Otter Pop life, and playing in a treehouse with some friends when another group of kids stole our ladder.
Annoying, but not life-threatening. Until I realized I had to pee.
I yelled at the boys to bring it back. They ignored me. That was their whole goal – to bother a girl – so mission accomplished. This just encouraged them to ignore me even more.
Splash Damage
My friends helpfully encouraged me: “Just slide down the firepole!”
Absolutely not. That would mean scooching out a door, in the sky, to a pole that went straight down. They were homogenizing (as my dad would say... I still have no idea what that means, but yes, that was the word.)
I crossed my legs so tight I nearly snapped in half.
Then one boy shrugged and suggested, “Just pee out the window. I do it all the time.”
In my eight-year-old brain, that tracked. A much more reasonable solution than the cockamamied idea of sliding down a flipping pole.
Until I heard a scream.
From my neighbor.
Walking directly below me.
Which was… unfortunate.
Flipping Life Lessons
That day, I learned two things:
- Boys are gifted with evolutionary favoritism.
- Avoidance makes a much bigger mess than the thing you’re avoiding.
Avoiding something scary does feel good for about 2.4 seconds. Then you’re stuck in a treehouse, panicking, and accidentally urinating on an unsuspecting adult.
Which actually brings me to a third takeaway:
- As an adult, always look ahead and don't forget to look above you as well.
The Takeaway
Avoidance feels safer, but usually it leaves you stuck, immobilized, and metaphorically dripping regret on innocent bystanders.
So next time you feel the urge to dodge something uncomfortable, ask yourself:
Do I want to face the scary firepole… Or do I want to pee on my neighbor again?
(You know. Metaphorically speak.)