I was a college senior, allegedly an adult, and still barely keeping track of my laundry, let alone my mom’s voicemails. Finally closing in on that elusive bachelor's degree, working multiple jobs to stay afloat because I had decided to move off-campus, and spending as much time as possible living my best life.
And it was the early 2000s. Maybe some of you had cell phones, but I sure didn't, not on my shoestring budget or with my complete lack of technological skill.
In the midst of living the college dream, I neglected to return my mom's call for a week or so. I heard the voicemail. I knew I needed to return the call, and there were other things to do. Like watching basketball, eating gravy fries, and debating whether to eat my ramen cooked or dry.
Sunday night, after a weekend with a friend, I approached my apartment to see an officer knocking at my door.
I used to read a lot of Mary Higgins Clark, so I was absolutely convinced that a young woman had been murdered, and I was going to need an alibi.
"Are you Jamie?"
"...yes..."
I waited for him to say ‘the killer is still at large,’ but no, apparently the emergency was my failure to return phone calls.
"You need to call your mother. You haven't called her in weeks, and she is worried sick."
He then escorted me to my phone in my apartment so that I could call my mom, who was in tears.
Lesson learned, call your mom.
Now, as a parent of a 17-year-old, I also react in my worries.
Most of the time, I can catch myself and recognize that I'm having irrational thoughts that she is going to flunk out of high school and live with me forever, eating Lucky Charms at 2 AM, and watching TikTok.
Let's be honest, the way the economy is, she probably will be.
The other night, I texted her 5 times in a row, "WHERE ARE YOU, WHERE ARE YOU, WHERE ARE YOU," like the opening credits to a true crime podcast.
Only to have her wake up and come to my room to say, "Mom, I'm home. You woke me up." Ironically, she also woke me up, too, because I was definitely texting in my sleep.
Moms worry. Because we love our kids. It’s our brain’s glitchy way of saying, ‘keep them safe at all costs.’ Even when the cost is our sanity or their sleep.
Worrying doesn't stop, but allowing our kids to make their decisions and mistakes is an important boundary for both parties.
Kids need space to fly.
Parents need to let them.
And both sides need a little grace along the way.
But try to check in once in a while. You know, so the cops aren't called.
From law enforcement interventions to sleep-texting your teenager, everything is behavioral health.
Join Level Up to access courses, printables, and exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else.